Pearls & Perfection Pending

I remember sitting at a zone conference on my mission one day.  It was hot.  There was a bug crawling across the floor.  We were behind in our monthly goals just like a lot of other companionships.  Everyone needed a little inspiration.  Or maybe just some cold Pepsi. My mission president started talking about his landscaping back home.  I was lost for while, but then he taught a simple principle that I have always remembered.  He talked about how we always have to cut the grass.  Regardless of the amount of care we provide for our flowers, or the number of hours we spend weeding, we will still always have to cut the grass.  When our grass is healthy and growing fast, we have to cut it even more often. The only time we don't have to cut our grass is when it is dead. In our lives, we have grass to cut regardless of our circumstances.  We get everything organized, we set goals, our houses are clean, and we think we are good to ...

Have you ever noticed that some days (or some people) just suck?  They suck the life and energy and joy out of you.  And you are left standing in the middle of the room, still in your PJs at noon, not knowing where to go, or what to do, because you are so overwhelmed by starting anything.  So naturally, you decide that the only thing you can do is eat M&Ms...or ice cream (whichever is closer), and watch episodes of Castle...or Bones...or Once Upon A Time...or all three, one after the other. I, of course, have never felt this way.  Especially not today.

This little boy: is growing up far too fast.  He's getting too big.  I have never felt time pull so intensely, or rush by me with such force before now.  It's a strange phenomenon to be in the middle of a million seemingly endless routines: wake up, warm the milk, change the diaper, work, check the emails, fold the laundry, sweep up the Cheerios, teach the students, change the diaper, sweep up the Craisins, prepare for the students, do the dishes, sweep up the broken crackers, warm the milk, go to bed, start over... Yet, these little tasks blur together like the world around you when you're on a fast fair ride.  Time marches on at an alarmingly rapid pace, never listening when I shout for it to wait for me to catch up. Life's an Hourglass Hourglass Mindy Gledhill © 2010 Blue Morph Music (BMI) Little boy, when you speak I can't help but kiss your cheeks I love the way you grab my hands And tell me all about your plans Rocket high, come...

Have you ever felt anxious?  I like to think that I am a fairly grounded, reasonable person.  I tell myself that I am down-to-earth and that I go with the flow.  These are lies.  It's much easier to lie to myself than to simplify my life, let go of the things that make me crazy, and actually become that person I tell myself I already am.  This week I have been feeling anxious.  Not the unbearable-panic-attack kind, just the unsettled-mind-won't-stop-making-lists kind.  I can't seem to turn it off.  When I am sitting, I am worrying.  When I am working, my mind is racing.  When I am laying in bed, I am mentally creating check-lists of things I haven't done yet. I know what real anxiety feels like.  In the past three years, I have had three major panic attacks.  I never knew what a panic attack even was until I found myself in the middle of one.  They're not fun; I can tell you that much. The first one was at school....

As a teacher (and now professor...what?!), the idea of constantly encouraging higher-level thinking is always at the front of my mind.  We read about, think about, and talk about Bloom's taxonomy until it is sprouting out our ears.  We stress the need to create critical thinkers.  I constantly find myself saying things to students such as, "Dig a little deeper than that..." or "Let's put our problem-solving caps on..." or "Think of five different ways to answer this question with your group..." Yet... I feel like we are failing as a society to actually produce such thinkers.  Yes, there are those who examine nearly everything, and most of us question the rare, novel, or shocking.  But going about our daily lives, I feel that it is too common for people to read something, learn something (whatever the situation might be), and we accept our initial reaction to said information, make a quick evaluation of some kind, and move on. I've exper...

I spend two nights each week in a class on one of these bad boys. During tonight's class, my mind was wandering from one mental tangent to another.  I was thinking about the events of the day, the people I had met, the articles and blogs I had read.  I was focused and working hard physically, but my mind was free to roam at will.  As I looked around at the other people in the class, I saw determination, fear, awkward ambition, insecurity, pride, energy, desperation, focus, and many other emotions.  Most nights I tend to compare myself to the two class members on either side of me.  I watch their RPMs sneakily out of the corner of my eye, and try to always stay a few higher.  I peek at the miles they have traveled and try to beat them.  Hopefully you're not one of my spin bike stalk-ees. :)      Toward the end of the workout, our instructor has us do intervals.  We start with a 3 minute interval giving it all we've ...

My sweet mother-in-law bought a book for herself and gave me the eBook copy of it.  It has been fun to read so far. It is called For Times of Trouble  by Jeffrey R. Holland.  It is basically a compilation of essays on his favorite Psalms along with his thoughts about each of them. This week I've read the preface and the first chapter. While I like to think I know what's going on in the scriptures, I still can't say that I've ever read the Bible cover to cover.  I started it on the mission, but got too weirded out with the OT and gave up half way through Genesis.  Too many crazy people doing weirdo things.    I decided to read the book of psalms to go along with this book by Elder Holland.   His preface talks about how we all face trials and times of trouble, and there are various things that can bring us comfort in hard moments.  We all experience trouble and should expect it.  He quoted Harold S. Kushner saying ...