Pick Yourself Up...Dust Yourself Off...

Yesterday I had yet another of my famous panic attacks. This is becoming quite ridiculous. I have a very difficult time controlling my negative thoughts about myself when these begin. I don't know what the cause is or why I have suddenly developed this habit, but I sure hope it is not permanent. Today, I was fine. The words to a song I used to sing in high school kept running through my mind: "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again." I just had to wake up this morning and think those things. I reflected a lot on what Elder Eyring said too. When I am tired and don't feel like doing what I should need to remind myself to remember Him.

Elder Oaks said, "Some people live the gospel with “short, frenzied outbursts of emotion,” followed by long periods of lapse or by performance that is intermittent or sputtering. What we need in living the gospel is “the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.”

I hope I can come closer to this "tranquil and steady dedication." I feel like everything about me screams, "short frenzied outbursts of emotion." That description would definitely be fitting for my episode last night. Bless David. He didn't quite know what he was getting himself into! I sure love that man.

Comments

Their Proper Place

The past few months have been exciting for me. I have made a lot of changes in my life in an attempt to truly find joy in my journey. My journey of motherhood. My journey of teaching. My journey to being the healthiest and happiest version of me I can be. After each of my three boys were born, my body has obviously changed a lot, and my depression has become more prevalent. Over the past several years, my autoimmune disease has played a fairly big part in my health, and anxiety kept creeping back into the forefront of each day. While I have (and had) a wonderful life, I was becoming overwhelmed on a daily and sometimes hourly basis with...everything. All. of. the. things: My kids, my house, my body, the noise, projects, papers to be graded, lack of focus, feelings of inadequacy and failure, pure exhaustion, back problems, lack of energy, constant bubbling anger, guilt for constantly blowing up at my family...I felt out of control all the time. Before marriage and kiddos...

You're Eyes Are Beautiful!

The other day, I was wandering around a health fair that David had a booth at for our business. (Music is good for your health, okay?!) Anyway, I was chattin' it up with people I knew and meeting some people who had recently joined our music studio. For awhile, I just walked aimlessly following my kids as they went from booth to booth collecting goodies. Out of nowhere, this lady walks right up to me, a little too in my bubble for comfort, but says, "You're eyes are beautiful!" And then walked away just as quickly as she came. I stood there for a second maybe wondering if I had just imagined it. It was so quick that I didn't even respond. I just stood there. In spite of the randomness of the moment and the briefly uncomfortable feeling of being confronted, it put a smile on my face and I am still thinking about it almost a week later. Be kind to other humans. Even if it makes you a little weird.

"I call redo!"

Anytime we made mistakes playing games or doing anything really, as little kids (especially playing 4-square), we would yell, "I call redo!" This was the all-inclusive, error-erasing phrase that could never be contested, and always allowed one the chance to try again. You could use this phrase in many circumstances: when you messed up yourself, or when others messed up in a way that gave you a disadvantage. Either way, it was a saving grace throughout my childhood. Well, today, I call redo. Earlier this week, I posted about my thoughts on the "Wear pants to church" controversy that people were talking about all over Facebook and in the news. I had one friend who helped me to see that I hadn't really considered all sides of the story. I am grateful for the time she took to point out some of my unjust and partly ignorant thinking. Just because someone participated in, or even initiated this event did not mean that she was demanding to be given the Pries...

Pearls & Perfection Pending