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Consent

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I did it again.  An angry, irresponsible Mom called me this morning at 7:55 informing me of every reason under the sun that I am a horrible teacher.  I dealt with this last year and read a lot about how to come off conqueror this year.  I told myself all about how angry people need validation.  They are angry for a reason and I need to show empathy.  I need to remember that they, like myself, have this poor kid in mind when they turn on the spigot of ignorant and unkind nonsense that pours freely out of their mouths speak.  Yet, when I picked up the phone and listened to insult after insult, my defenses kicked in and that kind, validating woman I'd hoped to be hightailed it out of there.  The sassy, "oh no you didn't" version of myself came out and I couldn't stop myself from thinking horrible things about this woman whom I have never met. I tried to make it through the conversation calmly, especially since my entire class was listening to my end of it.  I then attempted to just forget about it and get on with the day.  Luckily, I didn't cry until after school when I called and told David about it and really let my hurt feelings flow.

After feeling upset, the anger set in.  Who is she to call and tell me such things when I do nothing but work and plan and decorate and think and pray about her kid who she couldn't possibly care about as much as I do...who is she to use such inappropriate and juvenile language with me...who is she...

Who am I?  I am better than that.  Even though I failed miserably at becoming the composed, eloquent, decarbonated person I had hoped...I still tried to be kind and unexplosive.  I responded to her ugly words with sugar-coated pleases and thank yous.  I refrained from saying the witty mean things I was really thinking.  That is a step in the right direction, right?

As I sat down to write her an email, I became more and more angry and decided that I needed to get my head on straight.  I found this quote and realized that I do not have to react.
Just because one crazy person is having a bad life day does not mean that I suddenly fail as a person.  I am a good teacher.  I work hard.  I help these kids whether anyone else sees it or not.  I know I have made a difference in their lives, and I know that they (the ones that really matter) trust me and look up to me.  It is a delicate balance, trying to manage my true purpose that I take upon myself, and dealing with politics and parents.  But, no one can change the good things I have done with their angry and uninformed words.

I have such a long, long way to go.  Learning to be Christlike when everything around me seems to justify defense and reaction is a hard thing to learn.  I really want to be better at it.  I hope that I can change my heart and become a more humble person.  One day at a time.  It'll come.

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