Oh, New Year. How I have missed you. Thanks for reminding me to get it together, old friend.
This year's theme ideas:
Enough. I have enough. I know enough. We make enough. It's time I start to believe it.
WOW 2015! (Word of Wisdom reboot)
Simplify...everything...
Stop Spending All The Money, Denae...Shopaholics' Anonymous?
Be nicer.
Okay...so I have a lot I want to work on. Isn't that what January 1 is for?
Here's what I've decided, and then I'll tell you how I got there:
Theme: Living Happily
So...with all of this jumbling around in my head...I've decided that this year, I am going to work on living happily. I try and try to compartmentalize life, but I think every facet of living is affected by the others. I can't grow spiritually if finances are not in order. I can't thrive physically if my mental or emotional state is weak. I am not productive if I don't have a clean and organized working environment. It's all tied together. Yet, my true issue is learning to choose to live happily in spite of everything that goes wrong. Choose to be proactive instead of reactive. Lay up treasures in Heaven instead of in my closet or garage. Develop diligence so I feel more in control of my own circumstances. Let go of imperfections--my own and those of others.
Socrates said, "Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued." I want to live the good life. The life worth living. The life that is to be chiefly valued.
We finally get to the resolution part. Here are my goals and action plans:
1. Figure out how to live happily. Seek the Good Life. Be content with what I have. Make memories, don't just collect things.
To work on this, I am reading the book Living Well Spending Less by Ruth Soukup. I've liked her blog for a while now, and from what I've read, I feel like she's been on the journey I and in the middle of. I am hoping to work on the skills she talks about throughout this year: "...choosing contentment, finding our sweet spots, setting goals, becoming more disciplined, clearing our lives of clutter, establishing a budget, saving money on food, keeping a clean house, and learning to appreciate all the things that money can't buy." Join me in learning her 12 secrets.
2. Nourish and Strengthen my Body. Don't laugh, all of you vainly repetitious prayers. ;) In Mormon culture, we often make fun of the way people pray. Not making fun of prayer or praying, but the ridiculous things that we say over and over without thinking about what they mean. We say things like, "Bless us that no harm or accident will befall us." Really? Befall? Is this 1715? Or how about, "Please bless the hands that prepared this meal." Only the hands, huh? But the most guilty culprit of repetitious prayer-dom is the food prayer phrase: "Please bless this food to nourish and strengthen our bodies." We know we're about to eat jell-o and brownies...but come on, God. You can work miracles.
In all seriousness, I feel strongly compelled to focus on my physical health. To do this, we are taking the 100 day challenge to eat real food. We're cutting out sugar, soda, high fructose corn syrup, words that we can't pronounce, and stuff that has been processed so much that we don't really know what it is anymore. I remember as a teenager thinking that out of all of the "commandments" there were only a few I could do perfectly. Some of them are too gray to check off as perfect. Don't covet...well Pinterest certainly ruined that one for all of us. Don't bear false witness? Our fake projected Facebook lives condemn all of us on that one. Love thy neighbor as thyself...can I just love the ones that bring me treats?
Then there are the ones that I thought were the guaranteed: Don't kill. Check. Don't steal. Check. Keep the Word of Wisdom. Check. No drugs, no alcohol, easy-peasy. But, if I were to reflect now, they are all pretty gray. What about spiders? What about the neighbors internet when mine's not working? (They should put a password if they don't want people borrowing it, amiright?) What about the rest of the Word of Wisdom? There was that whole don't put junk into your body part...but where did the part about eating fruits and vegetables in season go? How about eating meat sparingly? Retire and arise early? Not so black and white. Gluttony is perhaps the sin of choice in modern Mormon culture.
So, not only will I be getting back to basics with our diet, I will be participating in some fitness challenges with friends.
3. Be nice. Okay...I know this one might be kind of pathetic, but I think I really need it. I am constantly in a position to tell people what to do as a mother, teacher, professor, employer...but there are effective ways to lead...and less effective ways. One of my greatest struggles is treating David with the kindness I should. It is so easy to get caught up in what I want and need, and lash out at him because the kitchen is not up to par (when a lot of the time, it was I who messed it up in the first place). I am going to seriously work on the way that I manage the people I work with daily, and the way I talk and treat my family and friends.
I can do this by:
-Hugging more often
-Thinking about the words I use more carefully
-Looking for ways to serve those closest to me more frequently and sincerely
-Letting the small stuff just go
-Praying for charity, compassion, and discernment
-Showing more genuine interest in other people when I talk to them
-Asking more questions
Well, there you have it. My 2015 preview. I hope I can figure things out and learn to live happily.
This year's theme ideas:
Enough. I have enough. I know enough. We make enough. It's time I start to believe it.
WOW 2015! (Word of Wisdom reboot)
Simplify...everything...
Stop Spending All The Money, Denae...Shopaholics' Anonymous?
Be nicer.
Okay...so I have a lot I want to work on. Isn't that what January 1 is for?
Here's what I've decided, and then I'll tell you how I got there:
Theme: Living Happily
Goal #1: Prioritize People and Memories over Money and Things
Goal #2: Nourish & Strengthen Body
Goal #3: Be Nice
Goal #2: Nourish & Strengthen Body
Goal #3: Be Nice
The past couple of years have been interesting and exhausting and nothing that I imagined they would be. I don't know if it's because I became a mother, or if I am just facing that mid(ish)-life panic--that people talk about--of wondering where I went wrong, but I've been struggling.
Church. Organization. Feeling inadequate. Always craving more--more clothes, more space, more furniture, more time, more naps, more. Being in pain. Having bad hair days. Being lazy. Being mad that I gain weight because I feel lazy. Not loving the 8-year-old-piano-playing soundtrack of my life all the time. Wishing that the toys would stay in their designated (clearly labeled!) buckets. Wishing that I didn't have to say the same things over and over with unchanged outcomes. Exercise. Cooking. Cleaning. Laundry. Dishes. Clutter. Clothes that are too small. Clothes that have spaghetti sauce on them forever. A dented car bumper. Crying because the internet is not going fast enough to stream Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Crying because the belt is black instead of blue. Crying because the meat is turkey instead of ham. Crying because I insist on shoes and a coat in snow. Stuff on the counter. Stuff on the floor. Stuff on the table. Stuff everywhere. People always there. To ask me questions. To watch me be sick. To wonder why I didn't schedule better. Waiting in my inbox, demanding that I solve a problem; put out a fire. So tired. I'll just eat some chocolate. Where is the diet Pepsi? Is there a new episode of something with people who have problems more dramatic or interesting than mine?
I absolutely dread going to church. There it is--I admitted it. With a baby, and now an energetic toddler, it has felt like much more effort than reward for a long time now. With our crazy, busy day-to-day schedule during the week, I never connect with other church members during the week, which means I often feel like a stranger while I'm there. I don't do well in situations where I don't feel in control. Feeling like I have a crazy child and no friends feels out of control to me. Because of this dread every week, I have become apathetic in so many other important areas of my life. Don't get me wrong; I don't dread church, or religion, or faith. I dread going to church. The physical process of clean clothes and brushed hair and sitting still and packing Cheerios....I can't really handle it.
Maybe all of this is simply a disconnect between the life I planned out (when I was fourteen and knew everything) and the one I currently lead. Or maybe I just still have expectations that no one--myself included--could ever live up to. I quit my job after Hyram was born only to discover that I kind of hate being at home all day. I actually enjoy working. Who would have thought ten years ago?!
My plan was perfect on paper and seemed to be the recipe for never-ending bliss. Go to college, get married to the perfect, handsome dude, have a handful of awesome kids, build a dream house, live happily ever after...perfect.
I didn't get it though. I never really wanted to work because I wasn't terribly passionate about anything. I chose a career that would help me learn to like kids. Kind of sad, right? I honestly didn't like kids as a teenager, but figured that as a future super-mom/world-class homemaker/awesomest-wife-ever, it should probably be a requirement to at least like children. I didn't have any clue or concept about money period. The dream house thing was not very well thought out other than the (more recent) Pinterest board of walk-in closets, designer bedroom suites, and a ginormous kitchen (because I love cooking so much, obviously). But the real thing I didn't get when I planned out my perfect life was that I had no idea what it meant to live happily. The ever-after part is somewhat inevitable...unless, you know...you die, I guess. But the living-happily thing is the tricky part of the plan.
So...with all of this jumbling around in my head...I've decided that this year, I am going to work on living happily. I try and try to compartmentalize life, but I think every facet of living is affected by the others. I can't grow spiritually if finances are not in order. I can't thrive physically if my mental or emotional state is weak. I am not productive if I don't have a clean and organized working environment. It's all tied together. Yet, my true issue is learning to choose to live happily in spite of everything that goes wrong. Choose to be proactive instead of reactive. Lay up treasures in Heaven instead of in my closet or garage. Develop diligence so I feel more in control of my own circumstances. Let go of imperfections--my own and those of others.
Socrates said, "Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued." I want to live the good life. The life worth living. The life that is to be chiefly valued.
We finally get to the resolution part. Here are my goals and action plans:
1. Figure out how to live happily. Seek the Good Life. Be content with what I have. Make memories, don't just collect things.
To work on this, I am reading the book Living Well Spending Less by Ruth Soukup. I've liked her blog for a while now, and from what I've read, I feel like she's been on the journey I and in the middle of. I am hoping to work on the skills she talks about throughout this year: "...choosing contentment, finding our sweet spots, setting goals, becoming more disciplined, clearing our lives of clutter, establishing a budget, saving money on food, keeping a clean house, and learning to appreciate all the things that money can't buy." Join me in learning her 12 secrets.
2. Nourish and Strengthen my Body. Don't laugh, all of you vainly repetitious prayers. ;) In Mormon culture, we often make fun of the way people pray. Not making fun of prayer or praying, but the ridiculous things that we say over and over without thinking about what they mean. We say things like, "Bless us that no harm or accident will befall us." Really? Befall? Is this 1715? Or how about, "Please bless the hands that prepared this meal." Only the hands, huh? But the most guilty culprit of repetitious prayer-dom is the food prayer phrase: "Please bless this food to nourish and strengthen our bodies." We know we're about to eat jell-o and brownies...but come on, God. You can work miracles.
In all seriousness, I feel strongly compelled to focus on my physical health. To do this, we are taking the 100 day challenge to eat real food. We're cutting out sugar, soda, high fructose corn syrup, words that we can't pronounce, and stuff that has been processed so much that we don't really know what it is anymore. I remember as a teenager thinking that out of all of the "commandments" there were only a few I could do perfectly. Some of them are too gray to check off as perfect. Don't covet...well Pinterest certainly ruined that one for all of us. Don't bear false witness? Our fake projected Facebook lives condemn all of us on that one. Love thy neighbor as thyself...can I just love the ones that bring me treats?
Then there are the ones that I thought were the guaranteed: Don't kill. Check. Don't steal. Check. Keep the Word of Wisdom. Check. No drugs, no alcohol, easy-peasy. But, if I were to reflect now, they are all pretty gray. What about spiders? What about the neighbors internet when mine's not working? (They should put a password if they don't want people borrowing it, amiright?) What about the rest of the Word of Wisdom? There was that whole don't put junk into your body part...but where did the part about eating fruits and vegetables in season go? How about eating meat sparingly? Retire and arise early? Not so black and white. Gluttony is perhaps the sin of choice in modern Mormon culture.
So, not only will I be getting back to basics with our diet, I will be participating in some fitness challenges with friends.
3. Be nice. Okay...I know this one might be kind of pathetic, but I think I really need it. I am constantly in a position to tell people what to do as a mother, teacher, professor, employer...but there are effective ways to lead...and less effective ways. One of my greatest struggles is treating David with the kindness I should. It is so easy to get caught up in what I want and need, and lash out at him because the kitchen is not up to par (when a lot of the time, it was I who messed it up in the first place). I am going to seriously work on the way that I manage the people I work with daily, and the way I talk and treat my family and friends.
I can do this by:
-Hugging more often
-Thinking about the words I use more carefully
-Looking for ways to serve those closest to me more frequently and sincerely
-Letting the small stuff just go
-Praying for charity, compassion, and discernment
-Showing more genuine interest in other people when I talk to them
-Asking more questions
Well, there you have it. My 2015 preview. I hope I can figure things out and learn to live happily.
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