Pearls & Perfection Pending

Most of the choices I have had to make in my life have been between right and wrong, or a selection of one option among many.  I haven't often been required to make choices of elimination where I have two great things, but must sacrifice one in order to keep the other.   When I made the decision to apply to BYU, it was an easy choice.  I could choose any university I wanted, but that was the only one I had interest in.  I had always wanted to go there.  My best friends all wanted to go there.  I applied early.  I was accepted.  It was great.  I was anxious of course to know whether I would get in or not, but I never had to act on my back-up plans.   My choice to go on a mission was a little more tricky, but still obvious.  I had wanted to serve a mission from the time I was 15, and although other opportunities presented themselves along the way, like school and boys, when the time came, there wasn't much to think about. ...

I caught one of my favorite students cheating today.  Twice.  And she has started sassing me.  I am one ticked-off mother hen. Trust is an interesting thing.  She has always been one of my most reliable and helpful students.  She was in my class last year, and when I moved up a grade, I kept her on purpose because she helps me out so much.  She loves helping.  I don't want to give consequences, because it will hurt me too.  It kills me that I feel like I can't rely on her anymore.  We will be having a little chat in the morning about her recent escapades and I will be firing her from her class job.  She loves filing papers in my office.  But...I can't have an untrustworthy student in my office, now can I?  Grrrrrr.  I'm sure there will be someone else willing to do it...for a reward.  Grrrrrr.  Maybe she is just growing into those ridiculous hormonal years and she feels like she needs to be cooler or p...

Today I am really grateful for the 25 sets of eyes that look to me everyday to hold it together.  There are a lot of days that I wake up (sometimes after a long, hard fight) with no desire to do anything.  Sometimes I wake up feeling gross and wishing more than anything that I could go to bed.  Today wasn't the worst, but it was not one of those excited-for-life mornings that David keeps trying to convince me exist.  Despite all of my early morning woes, I get ready and make it to work. Somehow, no matter how I fell or what I'd rather be doing, I see those kids who look to me for answers to all of their daily problems and I manage to pull myself together.  I don't really know how I do it, because when I am at home, I can't even get myself a glass of milk without whining when I am tired.  Magically, I become superhuman.  I pray the whole way to work that I can make it a good day for these kids who depend upon me to have a good day themselves.  ...

This picture always reminds me of the way I feel inside when I am excited. David and I have been really starting to get ready for the DR lately and I am stoked! We sent out some letters inviting friends and family to donate to the cause and I got an email back today with our first $50 donation! Carrie Cole came to our school this year to give trainings on implementing effective literacy in the classroom and she was the first to help us out! Thanks Carrie! As I am putting together materials to share with the teachers I will be working with, I am realizing how very unprepared I am and how far I have to go, but I am grateful for such a unique learning opportunity. I hope I can do some good. Yay for cool life experiences!

I've been thinking about two of my students all weekend. One of them needs serious help with being able to focus. I don't know if he has ADHD or something else. It could be any number of things. All I can see are the behaviors. I can see that he is capable of achieving when he has someone sitting right with him, helping him to stay focused. But the second he is left to his own, he literally cannot focus for more than 15 seconds. I know that the nature of these children is still to please. They want to perform well and they want to feel successful. I truly believe that if he COULD follow my directions, he WOULD. I set up a meeting with his mom and our school counselor for Monday, and I hope we are able to take some steps to help him. The other student I have been thinking about a lot lately is actually in my ward. He is very independent and rarely interacts with the other kids in my class. I don't think it is because he wants to be independent. I think he is c...