Insurance is really lame. I mean, it's awesome when you face a crisis, but most of the time it just really, really sucks. Especially if you are self-employed. We were notified that our premium would be going up (yet again) in January, and that our benefits would, of course, be going down. On a random, yet inspired stroke of circumstance, a friend recommended a program to us that replaces an insurance plan and allows people to help cover healthcare costs together. The mission of this group is to support Christ's teaching to "...bear...one another's burdens..." in a literal sense. I liked that idea.
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life
Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
And now when the people had heard these words, they clapped their hands for joy, and exclaimed: This is the desire of our hearts."
This week has been harder than most. I suffer from a relatively rare disease that is invisible to most. Most of the time, it just makes me seem flaky because I have to back out of things at the last minute, cancel plans, or simply don't show up to events as usual. It's progressively become more intense and burdensome over the past two years, but I am learning to deal with it. It is painful and exhausting, but awkward...so I don't usually tell people about it.
In the past three days, I have probably slept 60-70% of the time, night and day, only mustering the energy needed to teach my college class and make chicken nuggets when Hyram's Netflix tolerance wanes. I feel pretty pathetic most of the time, and think things like, "I should be able to just snap out of this!" "If only I weren't so lazy, I could handle this better." "If I worked out more, I bet I wouldn't have to deal with this." "People probably think I am so lame!"
And while I know those thoughts are not only untrue, but unproductive, it's hard to cope from day to day with something that others don't even know about, let alone understand.
I was watching this video and thought about how often we don't know how to help those around us, but what a blessing it can be when we just try...anything.
My mom lives 650 miles away--a ten hour drive on a good day. We do what we can to stay in touch; thank you, FaceTime. It's often hard to know what to do to help the people who live in your own house or neighborhood. I feel like it's usually impossible to help people who live any farther than that. (I am the queen of pretending that those people just don't exist when it comes to things like holidays and birthdays. Cards and presents are a struggle for me anyway...add thinking ahead and making a trip to the post office and I am sunk!) But my sweet mom knew I was having a hard week, and despite the distance, she found ways to try to bear my burdens. As embarrassing as I feel it should be, she called a cleaning service and had a girl come work for 4 hours so I didn't have to stress so much about all that I wasn't doing. She called and texted to check-in every day to see how I was holding up. While I still have those feelings of self-consciousness, and deeply desire to look like I have it all together, it was nice to be reminded that it really doesn't matter if I have it all together. It was refreshing to know that in my moments of suffering, someone was attempting to make my situation better than it was.
I sure hope I can be more like my mom when I grow up.
Mosiah taught the same principle to the people in the Americas nearly 200 years before Paul taught it to the Galatians.
"And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life
Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?
And now when the people had heard these words, they clapped their hands for joy, and exclaimed: This is the desire of our hearts."
This week has been harder than most. I suffer from a relatively rare disease that is invisible to most. Most of the time, it just makes me seem flaky because I have to back out of things at the last minute, cancel plans, or simply don't show up to events as usual. It's progressively become more intense and burdensome over the past two years, but I am learning to deal with it. It is painful and exhausting, but awkward...so I don't usually tell people about it.
In the past three days, I have probably slept 60-70% of the time, night and day, only mustering the energy needed to teach my college class and make chicken nuggets when Hyram's Netflix tolerance wanes. I feel pretty pathetic most of the time, and think things like, "I should be able to just snap out of this!" "If only I weren't so lazy, I could handle this better." "If I worked out more, I bet I wouldn't have to deal with this." "People probably think I am so lame!"
And while I know those thoughts are not only untrue, but unproductive, it's hard to cope from day to day with something that others don't even know about, let alone understand.
I was watching this video and thought about how often we don't know how to help those around us, but what a blessing it can be when we just try...anything.
My mom lives 650 miles away--a ten hour drive on a good day. We do what we can to stay in touch; thank you, FaceTime. It's often hard to know what to do to help the people who live in your own house or neighborhood. I feel like it's usually impossible to help people who live any farther than that. (I am the queen of pretending that those people just don't exist when it comes to things like holidays and birthdays. Cards and presents are a struggle for me anyway...add thinking ahead and making a trip to the post office and I am sunk!) But my sweet mom knew I was having a hard week, and despite the distance, she found ways to try to bear my burdens. As embarrassing as I feel it should be, she called a cleaning service and had a girl come work for 4 hours so I didn't have to stress so much about all that I wasn't doing. She called and texted to check-in every day to see how I was holding up. While I still have those feelings of self-consciousness, and deeply desire to look like I have it all together, it was nice to be reminded that it really doesn't matter if I have it all together. It was refreshing to know that in my moments of suffering, someone was attempting to make my situation better than it was.
I sure hope I can be more like my mom when I grow up.
Nae, I had no idea! I read this on my phone through an RSS feed and had to scroll back up to the top to make sure I was really reading your blog. Hang in there, my friend. I'm sending some love and prayers your way today. Thank you for taking the time to write an inspiring blog post when you're not feeling well! - Jen (Dunkin) Nelson
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