Lead with Love

Last night we held a parents’ night at the local church to display some of the things the kids have been doing at camp. I was watching the group in the first row and made an impressive realization. Katherine, the female counselor for this group was given one of the most challenging groups of kids. A lot of them were very needy or obnoxious. Her co-counselor was super lazy and ditched out on camp two weeks early. Yet, each day, she came to camp with an ear to ear smile and did nothing more than love the kids. There were days when her kids were unsupportable, and I would see her let out a deep sigh and continue on. But she just kept going. She was the energizer bunny of camp. The thing that hit me though was the result that came from her longsuffering and constant kindness. This crazy group that was nearly impossible to manage at the beginning of camp sat calmly and lovingly on the front row last night, almost begging to be the special one to sit on her lap or by her side. They were unified and desirous to comply with anything she told them to do. I realized that I go about management all wrong sometimes. I usually feel very proud when I can “control” my class. Silence feels like a grand accomplishment and I deceive myself into thinking that a student looking at me quietly equals learning. This counselor rarely had “control” of the group. She barely spoke Spanish some days. But her positive consistency and her unfailing outpouring of love led to a dramatic change in these kids and I am sure that they will remember her forever. They may not have been perfect, but they were changed. Isn’t that what leadership is really about?

I read a talk today that was written in 1971 about the unchanging principles of leadership. I found a lot of it to be amusing as he talked about predictions people had made about the future, but some of it is dead on.

Elder Wendell J. Ashton said,

“A book, The Year 2000, talks about some of the developments likely ahead for you: mining and farming on the ocean floors, three-dimensional photography, artificial moons for lighting large areas at night, and many others. Even more sobering, though, are thoughts regarding other changes that some say are ahead: the phasing out of family life and of the moral code that helped make this and other nations great. As priesthood bearers, we must be prepared to meet change and to resist with all our might those changes that would strike at the basic institution of the Church and of society generally—the home.”

Some of the predictions of our day are comical like the 3D cameras, which we have now seen. But others are shameful such as the phasing out of family and morals. The home has undergone fatal changes that leave society weaker than in previous times. Elder Ashton gives some examples of people that were able to show Christlike leadership during difficult times.

The first was Joseph of Egypt. Of Joseph, he writes, “Joseph had kept the faith—faith in his Heavenly Father. He had remained free as a slave and as a prisoner because he had kept close to the Lord. Yet there are young men and women today who become slaves when they are free because they unfortunately reach for a pill when they suffer a reverse or feel rejected.”
I like that idea. Freedom is a relative concept. True freedom has nothing to do with prison walls or demanding outside pressures. Freedom deals directly with our ability to maintain a relationship with God. We gain a sense of self-mastery and conquer the natural man enough to keep an eternal perspective.

Second was David who fought Goliath. He said, “This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine hand.” He also knew how to trust in the Lord in challenging times.
Our greatest example of course, is Jesus Christ who showed meekness when others expressed opposition. He modeled humility when he was given the chance to boast. He sought to forgive when others thirsted for condemnation.

I have a long way to go, but I am going to try to use these many examples to be a better leader, a more patient and realistic teacher, a more humble wife and a more dependable friend.