Skip to main content

Consent

I did it again.  An angry, irresponsible Mom called me this morning at 7:55 informing me of every reason under the sun that I am a horrible teacher.  I dealt with this last year and read a lot about how to come off conqueror this year.  I told myself all about how angry people need validation.  They are angry for a reason and I need to show empathy.  I need to remember that they, like myself, have this poor kid in mind when they turn on the spigot of ignorant and unkind nonsense that pours freely out of their mouths speak.  Yet, when I picked up the phone and listened to insult after insult, my defenses kicked in and that kind, validating woman I'd hoped to be hightailed it out of there.  The sassy, "oh no you didn't" version of myself came out and I couldn't stop myself from thinking horrible things about this woman whom I have never met. I tried to make it through the conversation calmly, especially since my entire class was listening to my end of it.  I then attempted to just forget about it and get on with the day.  Luckily, I didn't cry until after school when I called and told David about it and really let my hurt feelings flow.

After feeling upset, the anger set in.  Who is she to call and tell me such things when I do nothing but work and plan and decorate and think and pray about her kid who she couldn't possibly care about as much as I do...who is she to use such inappropriate and juvenile language with me...who is she...

Who am I?  I am better than that.  Even though I failed miserably at becoming the composed, eloquent, decarbonated person I had hoped...I still tried to be kind and unexplosive.  I responded to her ugly words with sugar-coated pleases and thank yous.  I refrained from saying the witty mean things I was really thinking.  That is a step in the right direction, right?

As I sat down to write her an email, I became more and more angry and decided that I needed to get my head on straight.  I found this quote and realized that I do not have to react.
Just because one crazy person is having a bad life day does not mean that I suddenly fail as a person.  I am a good teacher.  I work hard.  I help these kids whether anyone else sees it or not.  I know I have made a difference in their lives, and I know that they (the ones that really matter) trust me and look up to me.  It is a delicate balance, trying to manage my true purpose that I take upon myself, and dealing with politics and parents.  But, no one can change the good things I have done with their angry and uninformed words.

I have such a long, long way to go.  Learning to be Christlike when everything around me seems to justify defense and reaction is a hard thing to learn.  I really want to be better at it.  I hope that I can change my heart and become a more humble person.  One day at a time.  It'll come.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Confessions of an Unlikely Teacher

Most of the choices I have had to make in my life have been between right and wrong, or a selection of one option among many.  I haven't often been required to make choices of elimination where I have two great things, but must sacrifice one in order to keep the other.   When I made the decision to apply to BYU, it was an easy choice.  I could choose any university I wanted, but that was the only one I had interest in.  I had always wanted to go there.  My best friends all wanted to go there.  I applied early.  I was accepted.  It was great.  I was anxious of course to know whether I would get in or not, but I never had to act on my back-up plans.   My choice to go on a mission was a little more tricky, but still obvious.  I had wanted to serve a mission from the time I was 15, and although other opportunities presented themselves along the way, like school and boys, when the time came, there wasn't much to think about.  I had always known it was a good choice to mak

Music

" We get nearer to the Lord through music than perhaps through any other thing except prayer." -J. Reuben Clark, 1936 I believe that is true.  The majority of my most significant life events, especially those that have increased my testimony, have had something to do with music.  Take a peek at some of my favorites. Perfect Love I Know That My Redeemer Lives O Come, O Come, Emmanuel Nearer My God to Thee Nessun Dorma Don't Give Up Hourglass Come Thou Fount As I Am My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee He (II) Rob Gardner A Little More Like Thee

Spinning

I spend two nights each week in a class on one of these bad boys. During tonight's class, my mind was wandering from one mental tangent to another.  I was thinking about the events of the day, the people I had met, the articles and blogs I had read.  I was focused and working hard physically, but my mind was free to roam at will.  As I looked around at the other people in the class, I saw determination, fear, awkward ambition, insecurity, pride, energy, desperation, focus, and many other emotions.  Most nights I tend to compare myself to the two class members on either side of me.  I watch their RPMs sneakily out of the corner of my eye, and try to always stay a few higher.  I peek at the miles they have traveled and try to beat them.  Hopefully you're not one of my spin bike stalk-ees. :)      Toward the end of the workout, our instructor has us do intervals.  We start with a 3 minute interval giving it all we've got with a 1 minute recover.  Then the times decreas